Walking in the Shoes of OCD

A brief tutorial before the fictional short story that follows: Harm OCD takes various forms. An example is a person with OCD who feels it is their responsibility to protect people from items they think might cause others harm.  No, I'm not talking about seeing a used syringe and taking the appropriate safety precautions to dispose of it. I'm talking about something like a small rock. Seeing a small rock on the pavement could lead to catastrophic thinking for someone with this form of OCD. Their mind might race to thoughts like, "Is that rock sharp? What if it has jagged edges? What if someone kicks it and it hits them in the eye? What if they go blind? I have to move the rock. It will be my fault if I don't move the rock." OCD doesn't care about logic. It wants you to worry and take action to keep it satisfied.  Waves and the stereotypical surfer are home to Venice Beach. Before you hit the boardwalk, I promise you'll spot the blonde locks and accompa...

I was recently triggered by my hit-and-run OCD. No. That doesn't begin to describe it. OCD recently crushed my soul. It's incredibly isolating and depressing. I feel like a murderer who got away with a heinous crime. I have the urge to turn myself in but over what? A "feeling" of hitting someone, a "sense" that I ran someone over. Cop: where did it happen? It didn't. Cop: what did you do? I didn't do anything. Arrest me just in case? The feelings are so intense that they make me doubt myself. Maybe the feelings are right. Maybe they're on to something. Maybe something did happen. Maybe I don't remember. Then the urge to figure it out saunters in: Just think, Melanie. Just replay the situation over in your mind so you can know for sure that you're not a murderer. Then logic pipes in its two cents: Don't do it. It's a compulsion. You know it. Don't give in. So I surrender to feelings of indescribable heartache...